


I Choose My Friends (I'd Rather Be In Love With Them)

by mccolfer



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Gen, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Timers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-10 01:57:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5564584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mccolfer/pseuds/mccolfer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TiMER technology was introduced in the early 2000s but only started really gaining popularity around 2010 when they claimed to have perfected the science. They have a 98% accuracy rating, despite several nonbelievers. No one in Funhaus has a TiMER, until one of them does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Choose My Friends (I'd Rather Be In Love With Them)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry about the lack of Elyse, I would have added her but she just came in and I don't know her yet and don't feel comfortable writing her. I already had enough trouble trying to write Spoole and Lawrence who get little to no screentime across every Funhaus AND Inside Gaming videos. Also I'm sorry for making James such a fucking asshole, but let's be real, he kind of is. I truly do love the Willemses, don't get me wrong.
> 
> Trigger warnings: General self deprecating humor/thoughts, some more intense than others. James makes one offhand joke about self harm because he's trash like that.
> 
> The title is from [The Record](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hocKfdFMxos) by State Champs.
> 
> I don't know anyone from Funhaus personally, this is a story based off fictionalized versions of the personas that they chose to portray in their videos.

“How do you guys feel about TiMERs? I noticed none of you have them.”

Bruce groaned loudly before Matt even finished reading the question, “I thought I vetoed this!”

“Yeah, I know,” James said, obviously annoyed, “I kept it in because I have to scroll through 400 questions every week and too many of them are asking about stupid soulmate shit, so I figured we might as well just get it over with.”

“TiMERs are a bunch of bullshit!” Bruce wasted no time exclaiming, looking directly into his webcam.

“Ditto." James nodded in agreement, "Okay, next question!”

“I think TiMERs are _romantic_!” Joel interrupted.

“No weird countdown device is going to tell me who I'm in love with.” Bruce ranted, “I'll do that myself, thanks.”

“Without the TiMER you'll never know for _sure_ , though!” Joel argued.

Lawrence shrugged, “It would be kinda nice having one less thing to worry about.”

“So, what? You just want to be _told_ who you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with?” Bruce questioned.

“Yeah, what if you don’t even like the person?” James added, laughing a bit because this is supposed to be a funny Q&A show, not a serious opinionated podcast, “What if they’re ugly or something?”

Joel glared over to where James and Adam were sitting, “It doesn't work like that!”

“Yeah, if they’re your soulmate, why would you not like them?” Sean spoke up.

“Because they’re a stranger you just met, Spoole! You don’t even _know_ them and you’re just supposed to up and spend the rest of your _life_ with them?!” James was starting to get a little agitated.

“I hate to agree with Spoole, but he _is_ right.” Lawrence said, launching into a whole spiel about the technology behind TiMERs and how they work. “They’ve nearly perfected the science now, so they’re almost never wrong. Even if you’ve just met the person, they _are_ going to be your soulmate no matter what, even if it takes a while to get to know them.”

“I don’t need any device telling me how to live my life!” James protested still.

“Matt Peake, what do you think?” Bruce asked, trying to get to the end of this discussion.

"I’m pretty indifferent towards it all." Matt shrugged, “I guess I get what you mean about not wanting to be told what to do, but I do think it would be nice not to have to worry about finding someone.”

“Exactly!” Lawrence agreed, “You don’t have to worry about dating and having to court them and all that then eventually having to break up because it doesn’t work out. You just find your soulmate and you know it’s all going to work out from there.”

“Relationships aren’t _supposed_ to be _easy_!”

“Okay, so, Aroused-Dentist wants to know!” Bruce loudly interrupts James before they can keep fighting about this longer.

They’ve all talked about TiMERs and how they felt about them extensively before in private, which was exactly why they never wanted to let it be a topic in Open Haus. It was too long and boring a discussion. It also had nothing to do with video games, which is kind of a running theme they liked to try to keep.

* * *

They finished up filming about ten minutes later and Adam immediately exclaimed that he’d been waiting to pee for the last few minutes. Lawrence had noticed how Adam got real quiet towards the end, specifically after the TiMER question. He never really liked talking about that whole subject with them, but Lawrence had never thought to press him about it.

He waited until most of the guys had left to go home to ask Adam if he was okay.

Adam glanced behind his shoulder at Matt, who was the only other person left in the office and was fully engulfed in his work. “Yeah, dude, why?” He grinned but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“I don’t know,” Lawrence shrugged, “you just seemed kind of quiet in Open Haus today.”

“I guess I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning or something.” Adam said with a chuckle, now actively trying to avoid eye contact.

Lawrence decided to give in. “Whatever you say, man.” He lightly hit Adam’s shoulder as a classic display of Bro Comfort. “You wanna hang out tonight?”

“Nah, I got work to do,” He pointed at his computer screen, where he was zoomed in very close on a picture of Joel’s face. “cats to feed, shit like that.”

Lawrence nodded with a tight smile. There was nothing more that he could really do. “Alright, don’t overwork yourself, okay? And don’t let Peake either.”

“I’ll do my best.”

* * *

It was a little over a week later that Lawrence came fumbling into work late looking like he hadn't seen sleep in years.

“Drink a little too much last night?” James teased as soon as Lawrence passed him to get to his desk.

“Fuck off.”

James laughed brightly at the insult, happy to piss anyone off.

Lawrence downed an entire bottle of water then pushed up the sleeves of his hoodie. He rubbed at his eyes for a solid minute, willing his headache to at least lessen so he could bear to look at his computer screen.

“Hey…” He vaguely heard Sean speak up from beside him. “What's that in your wrist?”

“What thing on my…” Lawrence’s inquiry trailed off as he lifted the offending wrist to inspect it.

It was a TiMER.

“Huh.” Lawrence said, completely dumbfounded. “That's… new.”

“What, did you get so emo last night that you cut yourself?” James said loudly from his seat. Calling the rest of the room to pay attention if they weren't already. Lawrence felt every eye staring down at his outstretched wrist.

Joel was the first to break the palpable silence with an excited gasp, “Is that a TiMER?!” He rushed over to Lawrence’s desk and grabbed his arm, inspecting the gadget now embedded into his friend’s wrist.

“I guess it is…” Lawrence mumbled, still not sure how to react.

“You traitor!” Bruce yelled from his seat, standing up and pointing as aggressively as he could.

“Wait, what happened?” Matt asked, pulling off his headphones. Bruce’s shout had only just attracted his attention. He stood on his toes trying to see what was going on in the front of the room.

“Lawrence is apparently looking for his “ _soulmate_ ” now.” James replied with a shit-eating grin, making sure to put literal air quotes around the offending word.

“Oh,” Matt shrugged, putting his headphones back on and returning to his computer.

“Why aren't there any numbers?” Joel wondered aloud, tapping the little screen as if that would make it work.

Lawrence yanked his wrist out of his grasp, looking at the tiny screen himself. Where it was supposed to display the days, hours, minutes, and seconds counting down until you met your soulmate, was just four pairs of dashes.

**\-- D : -- H : -- M : -- S**

“I don't know, maybe it's broken.” Lawrence said with a shrug. Then he let out a self deprecating laugh, “Maybe I don't have a soulmate.”

“Yeah, you're destined to be alone forever with your anime figurines and alcoholism.” James called, barely containing his laughter through the statement.

Joel glared at the other man, then put a hand on Lawrence’s shoulder, “It must be a mistake. Maybe they put it in wrong or something.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Lawrence said shortly, “Can we all just get to work now?”

Joel sighed sadly but nodded, walking back to his desk.

“It's all bullshit anyway, man.” Bruce said, his voice slightly softer.

Lawrence just put on his headphones.

* * *

“Hey Lawrence, do you need a ride home?” Joel asked as he was packing up his stuff to leave.

The dark haired man thought for a moment before deciding he deserved a break. “Yeah, actually, if you don't mind.”

“Whenever you're ready!” Joel said with a grin.

A few minutes later Lawrence found himself in Joel’s little Prius listening to some smooth jazz radio station. As much as they make fun of Joel, the fact that he's so confident in himself and what he likes is pretty endearing.

“So I've been looking up some stuff about TiMERs…”

What wasn't endearing is his tendency to be nosy as hell.

“Joel, please, I don't want to talk about this.”

“No, alright, just hear me out, okay?”

Lawrence sighed in defeat, allowing his friend to continue.

“Apparently your TiMER won't display the countdown until your soulmate gets _their_ timer.” Joel explained with an optimistic grin, “So you probably have one and they just haven't gotten theirs yet!”

“That’s… that’s nice, Joel.” Lawrence said, forcing a smile, “I'm sure that's it.”

“Dude, there's no way you don't have a soulmate.” Joel insisted, “You're a catch!”

“Yeah, everybody’s dream guy: the alcoholic, know-it-all, anime nerd with a weird face.”

“Oh, don't listen to James.” Joel waved his hand flippantly, “You know he just likes to be an asshole.”

“No, it's true and I know it. I made myself like this and I have to live with it.”

They pulled into the parking lot if Lawrence’s apartment complex but Joel quickly locked the doors before Lawrence could get out.

“You do know I can easily unlock the doors manually right? There’s also a lock control button on my side of the car.”

“Listen,” Joel implored, ignoring everything that just came out of his passenger’s mouth. “everyone has a soulmate. That's what the world is all about. Humans crave companionship, it's in our nature. Somewhere out there, is a perfect person for everybody. That includes you. So you just wait, one day that special person is going to get their TiMER and yours will start working. Trust me.”

“Thanks for the talk, _mom_.” Lawrence replied with an eye roll, pushing the button to unlock his door. “And for the ride home.”

“I'm _serious_ , Lawrence! They made these TiMERs for a reason!”

Lawrence slams the car door shut abruptly, ending the conversation. Hopefully, for good.

* * *

It takes a week or two for Lawrence to accept the fact that he's going to be alone forever. At least he has his friends.

And he'll always have vodka.

* * *

“Sean, it’s time for lunch.”

“Just let me finish this one thing.”

“No way, Spoole,” Joel insisted, spinning the younger man around in his chair, “you need to eat. Your work will be here when you get back.”

Sean pouted but turned to save his progress nonetheless.

“Anyone else want to come for lunch?” Joel called out to the office. A bunch of grumbled excuses ensued. “Looks like it's just you and me, Spooleo! Where do you want to eat?”

They wound up at a burger place that was just a couple miles away from the office.

Joel waited for Sean to eat half his burger to bring it up.

“Do you really think Lawrence has no soulmate?”

“Uh…” Sean answered intelligently. He took another bite of his burger and Joel waited for him to think of a response. “I mean, that's not how it works, right?”

“No,” Joel answered, he's done maybe a little bit _too_ much research on the topic. “unless your soulmate is dead. Sometimes even then, you get a new soulmate. Usually the only time the TiMER completely doesn't work is when your soulmate hasn't gotten theirs installed yet.”

Sean hummed with a little frown on his face, then turned back to his burger. Joel continued eating his as well, hoping that he planted the conversation seed deep enough that Sean would continue on his own.

And he did, “I always thought the whole TiMER thing was kinda cool.” He said with a noncommittal shrug. “I don't get why it gets James and Bruce all mad.”

“Well, you know them,” Joel said, flippantly, “they just can't handle being told what to do. It's because of all the testosterone they have in their bodies.”

Sean giggled. “I don't know. I wouldn't really mind having a TiMER.”

He immediately regretted his words as a devilish grin took over Joel’s face.

“You know, there happens to be an implantation place just ten minutes from the office.”

“Oh?” Sean laughed nervously.

* * *

**00 D : 18 H : 23 M : 07 S**

Joel stared at the numbers on Sean’s wrist, bitterness almost making his stomach churn. He was going to meet his soulmate on his way to work tomorrow!

“Joel… Joel, look!” Sean exclaimed, brandishing his still bleeding wrist in Joel’s face.

The lady that implanted him grabbed his arm back so she could clean off the area. “You'll want to go home and rest up for a bit. The device takes some getting used to. Your hand or arm muscles might spasm randomly for a couple hours. It should wear off by tomorrow though.” She said in a mechanical voice, obviously having said the same basic paragraph multiple times a day.

“Just in time for your lucky day, apparently!” Joel said, trying to be excited for his friend. But honestly, what kind of bullshit is _that_? Some people wait _years_ after getting their TiMER to meet their soulmate, and Sean just has to wait not even 24 hours?!

“He sure is a lucky boy.” The lady said with a fake smile. She finished cleaning up Sean’s arm and patted him on the back. “You're free to go, buddy.”

“Thank you so much!” Sean squeaked at the lady. Her plastic composure almost broke for a second, her eyes looking slightly less dead. It's hard to resist an overly excited Sean Poole.

“I can't believe I let you talk me into this!” Sean said to Joel as they got into his car. “I can't believe I'm gonna meet my soulmate _tomorrow_!”

“Neither can I, Spoole.”

Sean didn't catch on to Joel’s contempt, far too excited to have his spirits brought down.

“Sleep tight, baby boy.” Joel said condescendingly as he pulled up next to Sean’s car parked outside the office, “Don't want to miss out on your beauty sleep before the big day.”

“Thanks Joel!” Sean said, so sincerely that Joel felt his bitterness melt away just a bit. He watched as the man got out of Joel’s Prius and into his own car to head home.

* * *

It was 3 in the afternoon when Joel finally came back into the office.

“Where the hell have you been?” Adam asked in his most uninterested deadpan voice. He and Bruce and James were clearly in the middle of recording something.

“Sorry, Spoole got sick and I had to drive him home. It was this whole big mess.”

“That's weird.” Adam said, but didn't finish his thought because he got distracted by the game on the screen in front of him.

“Why is that weird?”

“Lawrence also got sick about an hour ago.” Bruce explained, “He ran off to the bathroom then didn't even give us a chance to ask what was wrong before he left.”

“That _is_ weird…”

“Eh, it's getting to that time of year.” Bruce said, “OOH! Get him, Adam!”

Joel left them to their recording and sat back down at his desk. He couldn't help going over the possibilities for how Sean would meet his soulmate the next day as he tried to focus on writing the description to the next week’s Demo Disk.

* * *

Sean could hardly sleep, he was so excited to meet his soulmate! He finally got out of bed after barely an hour of on-and-off sleeping. He tried to concentrate on doing his normal routine but he ended up all ready for work with an hour to spare.

“I guess I could just go in early,” He said to himself, pulling his favorite hat onto his head and grabbing his keys.

He was taking his water bottle out of his bag at the office when the realization struck him. How is he supposed to meet his soulmate if he’s cooped up in here all day?

He looked down at the numbers on his wrist.

**00 D : 01 H : 15 M : 58 S**

Maybe someone would visit them today? Or maybe he'd leave to go to the bathroom and run into another person who works in the same building? He knew he couldn't force anything to happen. It was all about fate.

So Sean decided to just let what was going to happen, happen. He sat down at his desk and started working on what was going to be a GTA V gameplay.

“You're in early.” Joel’s voice shocked Sean, who was engrossed in his editing.

“Yeah, I was a little too eager this morning, I guess,” He replied sheepishly.

“Whatever, as long as you're getting work done.”

An hour later found Sean completely ignoring the installation in his wrist and instead focused on finishing up his video so he could go home early at the end of the day.

But no one could ignore when Lawrence burst through the office door cursing up a storm and waving his wrist around.

“Okay, this thing is about to end and I have no idea what to do!”

Sean spun around in his chair and locked eyes with Lawrence, and in that moment both their TiMERs beeped in tandem.

The room went silent.

“Wait... what happened?” Matt asked, taking off his headphones and looking thoroughly confused. Glancing at Lawrence, who was frozen where he was, his wrist raised in the air and his eyes widened in shock.

“I... guess Sean and Lawrence are soulmates?” Joel answered.

“Right...” Matt replied slowly, placing his headphones back onto his head and returning to work.

Then James spoke up, trying to break the tension the only way he knew how. “I love how they beeped like you guys are microwaves that just finished cooking.”

Then it was like everything was unpaused. Bruce and Adam couldn't help chuckling at James. Sean flushed a deep red and Lawrence slowly lowered his wrist. He looked down at the numbers.

**00 D : 00 H : 00 M : 00 S**

“I'm gonna…” Lawrence laughed nervously, “I'll just be… in the bathroom.”

* * *

Sean found Lawrence leaning over a sink, looking white as a sheet.

“Hey, Lawrence, c’mon.” He said timidly, laughing lightly as he tried to defuse the awkwardness, “I mean, I'm not -- I'm not _that_ bad right?”

Lawrence sighed, “Of course you're not, Sean.”

“Hey, how about we go get you something to eat?” Sean asked, almost reaching out to touch his shoulder but then deciding against it. “We can go somewhere private and talk this out.”

Lawrence let out a dry chuckle, "Or maybe we could just ignore that it ever happened and just go about our lives.”

“No, come on,” Sean insisted, “These things happen for a reason.” This time he did reach out and let a hand rest on Lawrence's shoulder. He pulled lightly, trying to get the other man to turn and face him. “Can we please just go talk about this? Some place that isn't a _bathroom_.”

Lawrence took a deep breath before standing up straight and facing his apparent soulmate.

“Alright.”

* * *

“Are we really gonna let them go out to _breakfast_?!” Bruce yelled, “They have _work_ to do!”

“Oh, fuck off, Bruce!” Joel yelled back, “True love is happening!”

“It's coming out of their lunch hours.” Bruce grumbled in defeat.

* * *

"I mean, I’m not gonna act like I haven’t thought about having sex with all of you.”

Sean laughed at his blunt statement. It had taken a few minutes and a bit of day drinking to loosen Lawrence up, but once he got there, the conversation started moving pretty smoothly.

“No, I’m totally serious,” Lawrence said with a chuckle and a swig of his mostly vodka screwdriver, “Maybe you weren’t exactly my first pick of the guys, but I know I’m sure as hell your _last_ pick.”

“Don’t be silly, dude.” Sean insisted, “Honestly, you’re not as ugly as you think you are. And even if you were, your intelligence makes you _way_ more attractive.”

“Nah, I know I’m an asshole.”

“You need to stop letting those kids on YouTube get to you.” He said sincerely. “I mean, sure James is like the hottest guy there ever was, but he’s a total dick sometimes. You’re actually really fun to be around.”

Lawrence was looking down at his drink shyly, “You really think so?”

“Totally,” There was a beat of silence. “Besides. I don’t think any dude has ever seen your lips and not pictured them around his dick.”

Lawrence looked up and saw Sean flushed red and sipping at his drink innocently. He smirked, “Was that your attempt at flirting?”

“Did it work?”

“Sadly, it kinda did.”

* * *

They ended up kissing in Sean's car parked outside the office building.

It was nice. Sean almost felt all that cliche :"sparks flying" crap. Maybe this soulmate stuff really _wasn’t_ all bullshit.

Lawrence tried to deepen in the kiss, bringing his hand up the back of Sean’s head and knocking off his hat. They laughed, breaking apart.

“Sorry,” Sean sheepishly said, grabbing the hat and throwing it on the dashboard.

Lawrence’s big hands immediately pushed themselves into his flattened down hair, pulling him back in for another kiss.

Eventually, Sean pulled away with a groan, “I don’t want to go back in there and deal with James making fun of us.”

“Not to mention Joel with his weird obsession with all this TiMER shit.” Lawrence added.

Sean sighed, “Well, I guess we’re gonna have to do it eventually.”

He grabbed his hat off the dashboard and replaced it onto his head. Lawrence grinned fondly at his soulmate, unable to resist pulling him in for just one more kiss.

* * *

As soon as the door to the office opened, Joel was turning around and letting out a loud wolf whistle.

“Looks like our lovebirds are back!”

Matt and Adam looked at them apologetically and Bruce just had a mixture of pain and confusion on his face. He turned away from them, avoiding eye contact.

“Wow, look at you two!” Came James’ cocky voice, “Lawrence, did you use a condom before defiling our precious flower?”

Sean blushed deeply but still retorted, “How do you know I wasn’t the one doing the defiling?”

The office erupted into a chorus of “ooh”s and “that’s my boy, Spoole!”.

* * *

Joel was excited for Sean and Lawrence for about a week before the bitterness kicked in. It just wasn't fair! They get their TiMERs and within weeks find their soulmates. And they already knew each other! Talk about hacking the system.

Meanwhile Joel spent the longest time wanting a TiMER but being too scared to get one because he was surrounded by people who made fun of it. He deserved to find love too!

“Hey Spoole, wanna come over and play Smite with me tonight?”

If Joel could have anything in the world, it would be laser eyes. Then he could set the both of them on fire every time they exchanged shy glances in between doing work.

“Hell yeah!” Sean answered enthusiastically. Lawrence smiled at him and Sean smiled back and it was _disgusting_.

Then James pretended to puke and Joel made sure to laugh extra hard at the joke, even if it wasn't that funny.

* * *

“Are you okay, Joel?”

Of all the voices in the room, Joel didn't expect to hear Matt Peake’s sneaking up behind him.

“I'm _fine_ , Peake! Why would I _not_ be?!”

Matt raised his eyebrows, “You've been staring at Lawrence and Spoole’s desks for the past five minutes.”

“I'm just _thinking_ , Matt, _God_!” Joel said defensively, feeling his cheeks heating up. “I was just staring off into space! They just _happen_ to be in that space I’m staring off into.”

A smirk suddenly stretches across Matt’s face, “Are you jealous?”

“Pft!” Joel sputtered, “No! Why would I be jealous?!” He laughed dramatically to prove just how preposterous him being jealous would be.

“Sure...” Matt said, still smirking.

“What do you even want, Peake? Why aren't you working?”

“Uh, Premiere keeps crashing so I just wanted to let you know that Demo Disk might be a late this week.” He furrowed his eyebrows, “But I'll try really hard to get it done on time. I’ll stay late or something.”

“It’s fine if it’s a little late and doesn’t make it for early sponsor access, as long as it’s good and ready to be posted on Monday.”

“Yeah, I’ll just stay after and try to get it done on time.”

"No, Matt." Joel shook his head. Matt was strong, but he didn’t know his own limits sometimes. “If it keeps crashing, what makes you think staying late will help? You’re just going to have to deal with it crashing for a longer period of time. Just go home, tomorrow will be a new day and maybe it’ll be more cooperative.”

Matt frowned, “Fine. I just hate being late.”

“It’s fine, dude,” Joel placed a hand on Matt’s shoulder, “Everyone knows how hard you work. They know it’s not your fault.”

“You’re right, I guess. Thanks Joel.” Matt said, still frowning slightly, “Also, if you’re really so jealous, why don’t you just go get a TiMER and find your _own_ soulmate?”

“Maybe it’s not that easy, _Matt_.” Joel said bitterly.

“Whatever you say, _Joel_.”

"Don't you _dare_ mock me, Matt Peake!"

* * *

Immediately after work, Joel headed to the implantation place he'd taken Sean.

**00 D : 13 H : 38 M : 12 S**

“Huh.”

“Aren't you lucky!” The man who implanted Joel appeared to be much more excited to be there than the woman who had done Sean.

“I guess…”

The man gave a big smile and started talking about getting some rest and muscle spasms and all that. Then he cleaned off the remaining blood and sent Joel on his way.

A very perplexed Joel.

“It _couldn't_ be,” He insisted to himself as he drove home. “It _can’t_ be _that_ easy.”

* * *

The next day, Joel was the first to come in, as usual. Though he ended up getting a little distracted by the new addition to his wrist instead of actually trying to get work done. Meaning he didn't get any work done whatsoever.

**00 D : 00 H : 00 M : 32 S**

He was switching between glaring at the numbers as they counted down and the doorway.

Lawrence was the first to come through, looking confused down at his wrist for the second time that month. He looked up to greet Joel, then their TiMERs went off.

“Oh.”

“This can't be right.” Joel said, squinting down at the screen. But it doesn't display four pairs of zeros like Lawrence’s and Sean’s had when theirs went off.

**00 D : 00 H : 00 M : 56 S**

“When did you get a TiMER?” Lawrence asked, “Did ours _both_ just go off? Why did mine go off _again_? I don't understand.”

Joel shook his head, looking down at the new countdown on his wrist. “I don't understand either, cupcake.”

“Hey, Joel, something weird is happening with my TiMER.” Sean said, walking into the office with his bag over his shoulder.

Lawrence turned around and Joel looked up and three beeps went off.

“What the fuck is going on?” Lawrence exclaimed.

“Uhh, so, I got a TiMER last night and now I guess we’re _all_ soulmates?” Joel offered up the only explanation he could.

“So, I guess that's why mine randomly reset last night, and just now before I walked in.” Sean added.

“I guess,” Joel agreed, still unsure how he felt about the situation.

He wanted love, and he sure as hell got it. _Twice_.

“Hey guys,” Adam said slowly as he entered the office, “why are we all standing around in front of the door?”

“Joel got a TiMER.” Lawrence said flatly.

“Oh,” Adam replied, frowning, “so what's it say?” He asked, sounding disinterested.

“That Spoole and I are both his soulmates.”

“Nice.” Adam said with a chuckle, “But no, really.”

“Oh, I _wish_ I was joking.”

“Well, geez, way to reject your soulmate, buddy!” Joel finally spoke up. “You're stuck with me for life. Don't think you're getting out of this with just Spoole.”

“Is this even possible?” Sean asked quietly, still looking confused down at his TiMER, which now had the eight zeros he was used to.

“It's very rare, but yes.” Joel said smugly. He should have known that he was one of the rare ones. Since when has Joel Rubin ever been orthodox?

“So I guess this means Joel is gonna come with us to dinner tonight?” Sean said with a shrug.

“Yes it sure does!” Joel threw his arms around Lawrence’s and Sean’s necks. “We're gonna have such a beautiful life together.”

* * *

Their three way dates are surprisingly more fun than awkward. It's almost like any other time they all go out to eat. 

Even though Joel was one of the only ones in the office to strongly support the idea of TiMERs, it still blew his mind seeing it in action. It really did lead you right to your soulmate. He felt like he could spend the rest of time with Sean and Lawrence. 

But at the same time, it felt... incomplete. Joel couldn't put his finger on it. He decided to file it away for another day. Especially when Lawrence invited him back to his apartment because he wanted to try something that Sean was too shy to agree to.

And Joel could _never_ say no to Lawrence's mouth.

* * *

Bruce was having a hard enough time handling when Lawrence and Sean were dating. At least _they_ were shy enough to keep it out of the office. Joel _lived_ for PDA, never letting a chance to flirt pass.

Bruce had to draw the line when he walked in on Lawrence on his knees in front of Joel in the bathroom.

“God _damn_ it, Joel!” Lawrence was shouting, “I told you this was a bad idea!”

He stormed out of the bathroom a moment later, his hair mussed and glasses crooked. “I'm really sorry, Bruce. He's really… he's just really persuasive. And I, I just can’t --”

“Go back to work, Lawrence.”

Once Bruce was pretty sure Joel had enough time to put his dick away, he entered the bathroom again.

“You can't _do_ shit like this, Joel.” He scolded, “I know the rules are lenient around here because we're all friends and there's not really a set chain of command, but you can't just go around getting blown in the bathroom! One that we share with other people in the building, in case you forgot!”

“I get your point, but consider this,” Joel said as he finished fixing his hair in the mirror. “have you _seen_ Lawrence’s lips, Bruce?”

“I don't want to hear about this!”

“Listen, I have a theory.”

“I don't give a shit about your theory!”

“Bruce, just listen to me!”

“No!” Bruce shouted, his voice cracking. “I just want to take a dump without having to worry about walking in on my best friends having sex!”

“I'm sorry, Bruce!” Joel grabbed onto Bruce’s biceps, trying to calm him down. “Look, I'm sorry. It won't happen again. Now, will you please listen to my theory?”

“What's your fucking theory?”

“I think... that the seven of us..." He paused dramatically for emphasis. "Are all soulmates.”

There was a beat of silence.

“Shut the fuck up, Joel.”

“No, just listen!” He insists, not letting Bruce break free from his grip. “Why do you think we work together so well? Why have we all stayed together when all the other people that used to work with us at Machinima left? How we all crossed paths or almost did even before we were all working on the same project? This is _fate_ at work, Bruce! We're all meant to be together forever!”

“I love you guys, but I can promise you that I'm not gay.” Bruce said, prying Joel’s spindly fingers off his arms. “And if I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with someone, I better want to actually date them.”

“Fine.” Joel pouted. He walked towards the bathroom door, but turned back around before leaving. “I'm gonna prove you wrong.”

“What do you mean? Joel!” But Joel was already leaving, the door swinging dramatically in his wake.

Bruce sighed, at least he finally got his privacy.

* * *

"Why don't you ever want to talk about TiMERs with us, Adam?"

Adam choked on his beer. It was his fifth of the night and yet he still wasn't _nearly_ as drunk as he wanted to be.

"I just don't have an opinion on them, I guess." Adam replied shortly, chugging the rest of his bottle and glancing at the bartender to get another.

Joel scoffed, "You always have an opinion. Only Matt Peake is allowed to be indifferent about things."

Adam frowned, "I just don't give a shit, Joel." He graciously accepted the beer that the bartender handed him and took a sip as he considered switching to a harder liquor. "You know, that's all you guys fucking talk about nowadays. I'm over it."

"What?" Joel questioned incredulously. He was staring down Lawrence and Sean who were having a conversation at a table across the room. They weren't the clubbing type, but they didn't want to miss out on the big 500k subscribers party Joel insisted on.

"You're not even paying attention to me right now because you're too busy creeping on your soulmates."

"Hey! It's not creeping if I'm already in a relationship with them." Joel defended.

Adam just rolled his eyes and took a swig of his drink. "Look, I don't want to rain on your gay sex parade and all, but I just don't want to hear about this right now. Or ever, really."

"Then I guess you don't want to hear my _theory_?" Joel asked, waggling his eyebrows in hopes that the mystery would be too much for Adam.

"Nope."

"Fine," Joel pouted, grabbing his bright green drink and hopping off his bar stool. "I'll just leave you to be a mopey baby all by yourself."

"Thanks!" Adam called, grinning sarcastically.

Joel stuck his tongue out, completely winning the argument in the most mature fashion possible. He made his way over to the table where Lawrence and Sean were getting a little _too_ close.

"Hellooo boys!" He called, shoving himself right in between his two boys. "Having all the fun without me?"

"We were actually just trying to decide if Bruce is hitting on that guy he's been talking to for the past fifteen minutes." Lawrence said, pointing across the room where Bruce stood. He was in front of a pretty little twink, who was leaning against a wall and _definitely_ making eyes at Bruce.

"Huh.” Joel said simply, bringing his straw to his mouth to sip his drink.

“Well, that's never good.” Lawrence said sarcastically, making eye contact with Sean. They knew that mischievous tone all too well.

* * *

“Go on a date with me.”

All Bruce could do was blink back at Joel. “Uh, what?”

“Go on a date with me.” He repeated.

“I,” Bruce furrowed his eyebrows, looking around the small kitchen as if he could find the answer to his confusion somewhere. “You're dating Lawrence. And Spoole. Also I'm not gay!” He added quickly to the end of his statement.

“Look, I have this feeling.”

“Oh, I get it.” Bruce interrupted. “This is about your stupid _theory_.”

“We're all soulmates, Bruce!” Joel pressed on, “I can just… I don't know. I can _feel_ it, y’know?”

“No, I don't know.”

“Look, just give me one chance.” Joel begged. “One date. If it goes wrong then we're not meant to be and my theory will be wrong and I'll stop bothering you about TiMERs.”

Bruce frowned as he considered the deal. “You know what?” He smirked, “I'll do it. Only because I'm so sure that I'm right and I love proving you wrong.”

Joel smiled brightly, “Fine. Do your worst. Because  _I_ love proving _you_ wrong.”

He pressed a light kiss to Bruce’s cheek before sauntering out of the kitchen.

Bruce hated how he couldn't help but grin fondly at the curly haired man as he left.

Maybe he wasn't as sure as he thought he was.

* * *

“Hey,” Lawrence said softly to Joel, stopping him in the hall on his way back to the office. “You coming over tonight?”

“I can't.”

Lawrence resisted the urge to pout, “Why not?”

“I got a hot date tonight.”

“Joel...” Lawrence sighed. “Can't you just be happy with what we have?”

“Not when I _know_ we're incomplete. These soulmate things happen for a reason, Lawrence.”

“You _don't_ know that though!” He insisted, “Who did you even manage to convince to go out with you anyway?”

“Bruce.” Joel replied smugly.

Lawrence was admittedly impressed, but still, “Stop trying to play Cupid, Joel. It's not your job to get everyone together.”

“Look.” Joel’s voice raised in pitch as he tried to defend himself. “Bruce didn't want to be told what to do by a machine so I'm just making him fall in love with me the way he wants to.”

“I hope, for your sake, this doesn't backfire.”

“It won't.” Joel replied confidently.

Lawrence looked doubtful, so Joel grabbed him and kissed that look right off his face.

* * *

At exactly 8 PM there was a knock on the door of Joel’s apartment. He opened the door and was met with Bruce, who was bearing a shit-eating grin and a bouquet of flowers.

Joel gasped and grabbed the flowers excitedly. “You shouldn't have!”

“Well, I was raised to be a gentleman.” Bruce replied.

“And a gentleman you _are_ ,” Joel gushed, “I'm a lucky lady tonight.” He winked.

The bouquet got put in a vase and placed on Joel’s small kitchen table before the two left.

They both approached Bruce’s car and Joel stood in front of the passenger side door, looking at the other man expectantly.

“Aren't you gonna open the door for me?”

Bruce snorted, rolling his eyes fondly. But he still went back to open Joel’s door and even gesture for him to enter. Which he did, with as much dramatics as he could.

“Shit.” Bruce whispered as he closed the door, walking to his side of the car. He was so fucked.

* * *

The restaurant Joel made reservations for was only relatively fancy, which Bruce was grateful for. That didn't stop Joel from buying an expensive wine for them to share, though.

They had a really nice time and Bruce somehow managed to hate every second he spent loving it.

He hated even more how he could honestly see himself loving doing it every day for the rest of his life.

Bruce _especially_ hated dropping Joel off at his apartment later and lingering outside his door, almost ready to kiss him.

“I can't.” He said simply when Joel finally leaned in ever so slightly.

“Why?”

“I'm not -- I'm not gay. I'm _not_.”

Joel looked down at their clasped hands. “This seems pretty gay to me.”

“Joel.” Bruce replied sternly, pulling his hand away. “I just _can't_.”

With that, he returned to his car. As he drove off, he looked in his rear view mirror and saw Joel still standing on his front stoop.

* * *

Matt jumped when he felt a hand touch his shoulder and pull him out of his editing trance. His fingers automatically hit the shortcut keys to save his progress before he pulled off his headphones and looked to find the source of the hand. It was Sean, smiling sweetly down at him.

“Hey, you need help with something?” Matt asked, already itching to get back to his work. The video was _almost_ done.

Sean shook his head, laughing, “No dude. It's 8, you need to go home.”

He frowned slightly at his friend’s words, glancing back at his computer screen and down at the time in the bottom right corner.

So, maybe Matt had a bit of a problem with getting a little too immersed in his work and losing track of time. It's hardly an _actual_ problem.

“I'm almost done this video though, just let me stay another hour or so.”

“Oh my god, no way, man.” Sean rolled his eyes. “Besides, Joel drove me in today and he took Lawrence home already so I need a ride.”

Matt’s frown deepened. He glanced at his screen and back at Sean again. Then sighed in defeat.

“Only because I don't want to make you wait.”

“When's the last time you ate, Peake?”

“Uh…” Matt considered the question as he shut down his system. He briefly mourned the loss of the roll he was on with that video. “I think I had a protein shake around lunch.”

“I think you deserve a cheat day.” Sean joked, “How do you feel about pizza?”

It _had_ been a while since Matt last indulged in some greasy junk food. “You know what? That actually sounds pretty good.”

“Great!” Sean squeaked.

* * *

“You know…” Sean started before he bit into his third slice of pizza. “Joel thinks we're all soulmates.”

“What do you mean?” Matt had barely finished one slice himself. It turned out a healthy lifestyle made being occasionally unhealthy pretty difficult. It was supposed to work like that anyway, he guessed.

“Like, the seven of us.”

Matt looked up from his slice and at the sheepish man in front of him. Sean took a bite to avoid elaborating further.

“I guess I can see why he’d think that.” Matt said after a moment of silence.

“...Really?”

“Yeah, I mean…” Matt took a second to collect his thoughts. “I never really considered myself anything other than straight until I met all of you guys. So.”

“Oh,” Sean replied intelligently, feeling a blush creep onto his face. “...really?” He repeated.

Matt smirked, “I actually had a pretty interesting dream about you and Joel the other night. Since he can't seem to keep his hands to himself at the workplace.”

* * *

Sean wound up making out with Matt Peake in the backseat of his car like a horny teenager. They’d been parked outside Sean’s apartment for at least fifteen minutes and he'd had a seat belt buckle digging into his back pretty much the entire time.

“This isn't cheating, right?” Matt asked, panting.

Sean shook his head vigorously, eager to continue with this endeavor. “Joel is on a date with Bruce right now. Also he's _sure_ that we're all soulmates, I'm doing him a _favor_ by making out with you.”

“Oh yeah?”

“You wouldn't want to disappoint Joel, would you?”

“Definitely not.” The shorter man smirked, reconnecting their lips.

Matt pulled away soon after just as Sean got the courage to grab a handful of his perky ass.

“Sorry, it's just…” He mumbled, pressing his forehead to Sean’s. “I’m not really 100% comfortable with this whole… _thing_ right now.”

“Don't worry about it, Peake.” Sean said, reluctantly releasing his grasp. “ _I'm_ sorry for grabbing your butt without your consent.”

“No, no, that’s fine. I just…” Matt furrowed his eyebrows. “I don't wanna leave you with blue balls.”

“Dude, I'm not gonna make you give me an orgasm when you're obviously uncomfortable.” Sean giggled. “I can definitely deal with my balls myself.”

“You sure?”

“I've been doing it for quite a few years, I think I can handle it.”

Matt smiled, pressing a final soft kiss to the other man’s lips, “Thanks Sean.”

* * *

“Where have you been, mister?”

Sean squealed loudly when he entered his apartment and Joel’s slurred voice came from somewhere in the darkness. He turned on the light and saw his soulmate sprawled across his couch with an empty wine glass in hand.

“Uh-um…” Sean stuttered, “I had dinner with Peake.”

“Well it's a good thing you're here now because Bruce left me high and dry after our date.” Joel whined, sitting up and setting his glass down on the small coffee table. “I really thought I could break him down. I guess I was wrong. Maybe we're not all soulmates.”

“Aw, c’mon,” Sean sat down next to the pouting man and wrapped an arm around him. “The Joel Rubin I know would never give up this quickly.”

“Yeah, he wouldn't.” Joel mumbled. “Can you just make me feel pretty for a bit?”

Sean obliged, touching Joel’s chin to guide him in for a kiss.

Joel pulled away a second later with crinkled brows. He grabbed Sean’s face and moved it into an awkward position to inspect it.

“...Do you have beard burn?”

He chuckled nervously in response.

“Sean Poole! What did you and Peake get up to?!”

“Well…” Sean started, trying to gauge whether Joel was actually mad. “I was just telling him how you thought we’re all soulmates and he said he could see why you thought that. Then I… helped him sort out his feelings?”

“With your _mouth_?!”

“Are you mad?”

“No,” Joel sighed, “honestly, I'm just bitter that you got some on your date and I didn't.”

* * *

"You okay, man?” Adam asked when he and Bruce were safely boarded onto the plane to the Rooster Teeth offices in Austin. “You’ve been acting kinda weird for the past few days.”

Bruce sighed, “Yeah, I just...” He didn’t really know how to continue. He wasn’t sure Adam even knew that he and Joel had been on a date. Bruce was pretty sure the other man didn’t want to hear about his big gay struggle. “I’m fine.”

Adam squinted at him doubtfully. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Yeah, I know.” Bruce nodded.

“Alright.” Adam seemed to accept that Bruce didn’t want to talk, which was something Bruce always liked about him.

* * *

Joel watched with narrow eyes as Matt Peake smirked at Sean as soon as he walked through the door. Then he watched as Sean blushed and ducked his head as he scurried to his desk.

“So, Matt!” Joel said loudly, attracting the attention of everyone in the room, “I hear you defiled my soulmate.”

“Joel!” Sean shouted, going even more red and burying his face in his hands.

“Wait, what?” Lawrence asked, looking confused.

“With all due respect, Spoole was the one who tried to cop a feel on me, so I think I was the one who was defiled here.”

“Oh my god…” Sean moaned, mortified.

“Sean Poole!”

Lawrence still just looked confused, “What the hell happens when I leave the two of you alone for one night?!”

“So, is everyone in the office fucking now?” James deadpanned.

* * *

**You can’t avoid me forever**

Bruce groaned loudly as soon as he read the text. He pressed his hands against his forehead, desperately trying to sort out some kind of solution.

“Do you want me to come back later?”

His head shot up and looked towards the door where Adam was standing, looking concerned.

“No, no.” Bruce insisted. “It's your hotel room too.”

“The offer to talk about anything still stands,” Adam reminded him as he took a seat on his bed. “it always does.”

Bruce just nodded in response.

Then silence came over the room as Bruce stared at his phone screen and Adam vaguely watched the crappy movie playing on the hotel TV. Adam had fallen half asleep when Bruce finally spoke up.

“I went on a date with Joel.”

“...What?”

Bruce sighed aggressively at having to repeat himself, “I went. On a date. With Joel.”

“Why did you do that?”

“He thinks we're all fuckin’ soulmates.”

“Who?”

“All of us!” Bruce gestured wildly as if the rest of them were in the room. “Like the seven of us! All one big soulmate orgy!”

“Is that even possible?”

“I don't fucking know! I guess it must be if Joel is so adamant on proving it!” Bruce yelled. Adam took the ranting without so much as a flinch.

“He had to go and ask me on a date and I thought I could prove him wrong because I'm _not_ gay! But then it was a really nice fucking date and he was really sweet and fucking cute and I almost kissed him. I _wanted_ to kiss him!”

“I'm sorry but,” Adam spoke up after a moment of silence. “I don't really see the problem here?”

“The _problem_ is that I thought soulmates were a bunch of bullshit and that I wasn't gay and now apparently Joel knows more than I do about everything!”

“You know, you can like dudes and still not be gay.”

“Oh whatever, Kovic!” Bruce rolled his eyes. “I thought I didn't like dudes.”

“And I thought you just didn't like TiMERs, not the idea of soulmates entirely.”

“Exactly! But Joel used TiMERs to try to prove to me that we're all soulmates and now he's right!”

“He didn't use a TiMER though. He just took you on a date. Which was the way you wanted to find your soulmate, is it not?”

“I can't _believe_ you're siding with him!”

Adam rolled his eyes, “Oh yeah, I’m _so_ sorry that you’re suddenly in love with Joel and you managed to find your soulmate without even needing a TiMER. You’re truly suffering, I don’t know how you do it.”

“It’s not… It’s not like that, Adam.” Bruce frowned. "You don't understand."

“Whatever, man. I guess I don't.” Adam mumbled, rolling over to curl up in his bed facing away from Bruce.

Bruce just shook his head in confusion. What the hell just happened?

* * *

“So, you're gonna let me take you to get a TiMER installed, right?” Joel said to Matt after everyone went home.

Matt sighed, “I guess if you really need to.”

“Oh, I do.”

* * *

Joel’s TiMER beeped as soon as Matt’s was installed. Everyone in the place applauded.

* * *

“Oh, come _on_!” James shouted when Matt came into work and three TiMERs all went off at once. “Give me a fucking break.”

* * *

"Hey, Adam, I'm sorry." Bruce said quietly to the other man in the backseat of the car taking them to the Rooster Teeth building.

"What are you sorry for?" Adam asked monotonously.

Bruce furrowed his eyebrows, "I don't know. I'm just sorry I made you upset last night."

"Don't apologize if you don't even know what's wrong."

"Dude, I just wanted to say that I didn't mean to make you mad."

"I know you didn't _mean_ to."

"God damn it, Kovic. Can't you just accept my apology?"

Adam sighed and looked at Bruce for the first time since they got in the car. "Look, it's not your fault that I got upset last night. I'm not accepting an apology for something you didn't even do. Just drop it. Don't worry about me, sort out your own problems."

"I want to worry about you, dude. You're my friend."

Adam faked a smile. He knew he didn't deserve Bruce's concern. He didn't deserve anything. He was just a broken, worthless kid. Just like he always was.

* * *

“Hey,” James lightly smacked Lawrence’s shoulder to get his attention. “You wanna hang out tonight? Maybe watch On The Spot since Bruce and Adam are gonna be on it this week?”

“Oh, uh,” Lawrence glanced over James’ shoulder where Sean was shyly flirting with Matt.

“Unless you already have plans to celebrate your brand new soulmate?”

“No, actually.” Lawrence replied, looking back at James. “We haven't hung out in a while. You wanna take me home after work and we can hang there?”

“Sounds good.” James said, returning to his desk.

He thinks his soulmates can handle one night without him, especially when he's just trying to do fate’s work. Joel would be so proud.

* * *

“Man, I gotta say,” James brought it up casually as they watched the Rooster Teeth control room get ready for On The Spot. “I just don't understand how the four of you do it.”

“What do you mean?”

“How you're all soulmates or whatever.” He shook his head. “You're all just like, dating each other? Do you guys have big gay orgies all the time?”

Lawrence chuckled, “Honestly, we haven't even had a threesome yet. It's mostly us breaking off into pairs to do shit like that. Matt's still not even comfortable enough to do anything other than kissing yet.”

“It's just --” James sighed. “It's hard for me to keep calling TiMERs bullshit when I've seen it work out really well four times.”

“That's because really not bullshit, James. It's actually just proven science.”

He still frowned, obviously not satisfied with that answer.

“You know,” Lawrence said slyly, “It's pretty improbable that me, Joel, Spoole, and Matt are all soulmates without the rest of you guys involved.”

James let that idea sink in. “You think so?”

“We basically _know_ so at this point.”

“Well, I always did think that I was 80% straight with 20% of gay reserved for you guys.” James joked, eyes shifting a bit nervously as Lawrence stared him down.

“And when I vowed to have everyone in the office sit on my face at least once, I was most excited to have your thighs around my head.”

They didn't end up watching On The Spot.

* * *

Adam and Bruce returned to LA that weekend and to the office that Monday. Bruce took one look at Joel leaning over Matt’s shoulder flirtatiously and the TiMER on the shorter man’s wrist and announced that he needed some vacation time.

Joel pulled him out of the office so they could argue in private.

“So how did the thumbnails get by without me?” Adam asked, sitting down at his desk and feigning causal as best as he could.

“I only had to do a couple.” Matt replied, going to itch at his wrist only to find the device implanted there. “You're really far ahead in your work. Maybe you should be next to take a vacation.”

“Maybe not.” Adam laughed dryly. “What would I even do?”

“Relax.”

“You're one to talk about not relaxing, Matt Peake.” Adam replied, fixing Matt with the best bitch face he could muster.

Matt threw his hands up in surrender and returned back to his work.

As Adam waited for Photoshop to load, he took a minute to look around the room. Namely at Lawrence hovering over at James’ desk. He was standing really close to the blue eyed man. _Really_ close.

God damn. How many of them had Joel corrupted while he was gone? If he got James than it might not even be that hard to get Bruce. Then Adam’s worse nightmare would finally come truly when they all realized how much better off they'd be without him dragging them down.

Adam’s stomach gurgled at the thought. He pushed down the nausea and focused on his work, opening up the newest Open Haus to start making a thumbnail.

* * *

**I see someone's getting pretty close to James over there ;-)**

Lawrence rolled his eyes when he returned to his desk to find a text from Sean waiting on his phone.

**Well I figured I had to do something since you got Peake and Joel got Bruce**

**Bruce still isn't a sure thing until he gets his TiMER**

**You just want to brag because Peake was the only one to actually get one and you're the one who seduced him**

**:-P**

Lawrence looked up to roll his eyes at Sean but just couldn't help smiling fondly at the man. He'd really grown attached since they were the first to find out they were soulmates. He kind of hoped they would always have that special bond.

* * *

Joel corners him in the kitchen a few hours later. “A little Spooley tells me you managed to capture James.”

“Can we stop talking about the other guys like they're Pokemon?” Lawrence tried to scold but he couldn't help the smug smirk that stretched across his face.

“How long did it take you to convince him?”

“I'll have you know, he was very willing to take a seat on this throne.” Lawrence pointed at his face with a sleazy eyebrow wiggle.

“Shut up!” Joel pushed his shoulder, positively scandalized. “I can't believe you!”

“Believe it.”

Joel placed a cold hand on his cheek, “I knew your pretty face would come in handy one day.”

Lawrence felt his cheek heat up under Joel’s fond pat. He'd never felt even remotely confident in his looks until he found his soulmates. He was honestly happier than he'd ever been. No wonder everyone loves this whole soulmate thing.

Well, almost everyone.

* * *

It took Bruce not coming into work for two consecutive days for someone to finally take action. Surprisingly, it was Matt Peake.

“What are you doing here, Peake?”

“I'm here to talk to you.”

“Who sent you?” Bruce questioned. “Joel?”

“I came here myself.”

They stared each other down for a long moment before Bruce stepped aside to let Matt in.

“You can't keep avoiding work just to run from your feelings.” Matt started, then shook his head. “Wait. I mean, you can't keep running from your feelings. Period.”

“I'm not running from anything, Matt. I just wanted some vacation time.”

Matt just looked at him.

“I'm serious!”

“Bruce, I know how hard it is to have all this soulmate stuff sprung on you. Especially when you never really thought you were anything but straight and now suddenly someone wants you to date six dudes. I know it all sounds so ridiculous but honestly, the world works this way for a reason. I don't mean to sound like Joel, but fate wants the seven of us together. The sooner you accept that, the better off we'll all be.”

Bruce had never really heard Matt string together so many words at once. He couldn't really do anything but sit in silence and soak it in.

“I just…” Bruce said after a while. “I really hate being wrong, Matt.”

“I know, dude. But you're not technically wrong, if you think about it.” Matt grinned, “I mean, you started having feelings for Joel without needing a TiMER to tell you to do it.”

“Yeah, I guess I did.”

Matt sighed, "I know I can't make you do anything. I just hope you chose to do what's best for all of us. You were always great at doing that."

With that, he turned on his heel and left. Bruce shook his head at the dramatics. Joel was already rubbing off on him.

* * *

“I’m not getting a TiMER.” James said calmly when Joel asked when he planned to get his installed.

“What?” Joel squeaked, “I thought you were gonna join us.”

“Yeah, I’ll totally be in a big gay polygamous relationship with you guys, but why would I need a TiMER?”

“Uh, so we know we’re all soulmates.”

“You keep acting like you already know we’re all soulmates anyway so I don’t see why we need a machine to tell us the same thing.”

Joel narrowed his eyes at him, “We need to make _sure_.”

“I think _I’ll_ be the judge of my own soulmate, or soulmates, when I’m ready, thanks.” He smiled smugly at the man before him.

Joel crossed his arms with dissatisfied grunt and pouted for the rest of the day.

* * *

“Hey Adam, have you eaten today?” Sean already knew the answer. Adam had come in silently and started working and hadn’t left his computer since.

“Uh, yeah…”

Sean rolled his eyes, “Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m really busy today, Spoole.”

“You’re never too busy to eat.” He insisted, reaching  to pull Adam’s headphones off his head and place them on his desk. “C’mon, I haven’t eaten either. You can choose where we go, my treat.”

“Don’t you think your soulmates will get jealous?” Adam mumbled as he begrudgingly turned to save his work.

Sean frowned and tilted his head in confusion, “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Adam…” Sean said quietly, “You do know that it’s _all_ of us, right? Like, including you.”

“Well, I mean, no one came to tell me about it, so,” He could feel his chest tightening and tears threatening to form. He hated his emotions for betraying him. “I just kinda thought…”

“No one told you?”

“Um, well, Bruce told me about Joel. But it looked like you guys were all recruiting each other. Like how you got Peake and Lawrence got James...”

“Oh my God, I can’t believe nobody asked you out.” Sean said with a disbelieving grin. “Honestly, the only reason I didn’t was because I assumed someone else already did. Especially with Joel. He’s been talking about you since he figured out it was all of us.”

“Oh…” Adam’s chest only got tighter.

Sean’s grin vanished when Adam didn’t perk up. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“You guys are probably better off without me anyway.”

“Adam… what are you talking about?”

“Nothing, just.” Adam took a deep breath to keep his emotions concealed. Just like he always has. “Spoole, I really do have a lot of work to do and I wish you’d just leave me to it.”

“Dude, I’m not leaving until you eat. I don’t care if I have to sit there quietly for a half hour to get you to do it.”

Adam considered his options. He could be childish and insist that Sean couldn’t make him do anything, because he definitely couldn’t. He could tell Sean everything and spill his entire heart out. Or he could just go and give him the silent treatment the whole time.

“Fine.”

Silent treatment it was.

* * *

“There’s something wrong with Adam.”

Joel rolled his eyes, “Of course it’s _those three_ that cause a problem.”

“Joel, I’m serious.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Joel asked with an exasperated sigh.

Sean launched into a long-winded explanation of everything that had happened, talking almost too fast for his mouth to keep up. Joel’s annoyance melted from his face.

“He said we were better off without him?”

Sean nodded sadly.

“That makes no sense.”

“I know,”

“We wouldn’t even all be together if it wasn’t for him. He created Inside Gaming. Without that, who knows how long it would have taken us to all find each other? He’s literally the fate that brought the seven of us together.”

“I _know_. I tried to tell him that, but he just gave me the cold shoulder the whole time. I’m just happy I got him to eat. But then he all but forced his money on me when I tried to pay for him.” Sean’s frown deepened. “I don’t get why he’s like this.”

“None of us do.” Joel shook his head, “He’s always been like this. We all never knew what to do about it. We just accepted that’s just how Adam is.”

“Yeah, well maybe we all really screwed that one up.”

* * *

The day Bruce came back into work, a cacophony of beeps erupted in the office, and Adam asked to leave early.

He only managed to distract himself at home for a little while before he ended up sad and drunk, staring at his wrist. He stared particularly hard at the two little circular scars that had been haunting him for years.

His father must have been right when he called him worthless all that time. His family must have been right when they told him he’d never get anywhere in life. Adam was meant to be alone forever.

* * *

“You're a dirty traitor, Bruce Greene.” James said when he encountered the other man in the kitchen later.

“Aw, come on, dude.” Bruce chucked, putting down his mug of coffee. “How was I supposed to leave them all hanging?”

“You don't need to prove anything to anyone with a fucking TiMER.” James insisted, rolling his eyes. “You can prove that you're all gay for them by just being their soulmate.”

“Look, I knew Joel was mad at me for fucking him over after our date so I needed to do something big to make it up to him.” Then he shrugged a bit sheepishly, “Also, I don't know. Maybe the TiMER thing isn't as bad as we made it out to be.”

“Dirty. Traitor.” James enunciated, “What happened to my Bruce who didn't want to be told what to do by a machine?”

“The machine isn't even what's telling you what to do, asshole.” Bruce lightly shoved James’ shoulder. “It's just translating your body’s recognition of your soulmate.”

“How is my body supposed to see a stranger and know it's my soulmate?”

“I don't fucking know, dude! It just does. It's been proven, man. Statistics don't lie.”

“No one is ever going to convince me that TiMERs aren't complete crap.”

“But in the meantime you're still gonna date your six soulmates that you found because of _their_ TiMERs.”

“Hell yes.” James said cockily, then stepped in closer. “Now, kiss me, you dirty traitor.”

* * *

Joel gave Adam some space for a day before he went knocking on his door. He waited for a full three minutes and got no response, so he knocked again.

And nothing.

So he pulled out the key Adam had given him when he first got the apartment.

“Who’s there?” Adam’s hoarse voice called out when he heard the door open.

“Your mother.” Joel answered with a chuckle. His laughter fell silent when he saw his friend.

Adam was in the same clothes he was in when he left work and his eyes were bloodshot. Next to him was an empty bottle of whiskey.

“Come out to dinner with us tonight.” Joel said, instead of scolding him like he wanted to.

Adam scoffed, “Why would I do that?”

“Because you want to spend some time with your soulmates.”

“Stop trying to make this happen, Joel. It never will.”

“Why not?” Joel pouted, sitting next to Adam on his couch. He tried to ignore the smell of body odor and old alcohol.

“I'm not your soulmate.”

“How do you know that?”

Adam paused for a long time. “I'm not _anyone's_ soulmate.”

“Now that's just ridiculous.” Joel said, waving his hand.

“Well, it's true.”

“Come on, Adam. Just let me get you a TiMER and I'll prove to you that you belong with us.”

“I can't.” Adam replied shortly.

Joel rolled his eyes, “What do you mean, you _can't_?” He went to grab Adam’s wrist where he would get the TiMER but was shocked to have it ripped out of his grasp.

“I _can't_ , Joel.” Adam cradled his wrist protectively to his chest, “I literally _can't_.”

“...What?”

Adam sighed, then displayed his wrist to Joel. “I had a TiMER before.” He pointed at the two little scars. “A girlfriend I had in college convinced me to get it because she thought we were soulmates. Then mine didn't turn on and hers had a countdown so she broke up with me.”

“Oh…” Joel was stunned silent. “You do know that when it doesn't turn on it just means your soulmate hasn't gotten theirs yet. That's how they sell more TiMERs.”

“Yeah, I know that _now_.” Adam said, exasperated. “Back then no one knew anything about TiMERs.”

“Well I mean, we can just get you another one, can't we?” Joel shrugged, smiling hopefully at Adam.

“No.” He was quick to shut him down. “When you get your TiMER removed it permanently damages the nerves that it uses to figure out who your soulmate is. It's irreversible.”

Joel didn't think his heart could break more. “I'm guessing you also didn't know _that_ back then.”

“Nope!” Adam laughed humorlessly, “I'll never have a soulmate all because of some dumb decisions heartbroken Adam made in college.”

“Well… that doesn't mean you can't be our soulmate.” Joel reasoned.

“You said it yourself, without a TiMER, you'll never know for sure.”

Joel was honestly speechless. It was a feat that Adam had never before witnessed. It made him kind of sad.

“Just, come out to dinner with us?” Joel asked finally.

“Don't count on it.”

* * *

The six of them were gathered at a restaurant, an empty seventh chair weighed down their good moods.

Lawrence had tried to keep quiet for a couple days, but after a while he couldn't seem to bite his tongue anymore. “If Adam can't get a TiMER, how do we know for sure he's our soulmate?”

“Are you actually kidding me?” James responded.

“I'm just saying…”

“James doesn't have a TiMER, but you had no problem eating his ass the second he was willing!” Joel yelled, disbelief colored his tone.

Lawrence’s face heated up, looking around the restaurant to see if anyone heard him. “Well, we also don't _technically_ know if he's our soulmate too.”

“Alright, I'll just leave then.”

“No, you sit the fuck down!” Bruce yelled, pointing at James until he took his seat. Then he turned to Lawrence, bringing up his newly implanted wrist, “You mean to tell me that just the five of us are soulmates and James and Adam _aren't_?”

“I'm not saying _that_ , I'm saying we don't know _for sure_.”

“I'll tell you what _I_ know for sure. I want to spend the rest of my life with you assholes. And if Adam and James aren't there, then I'm not there.”

“Ditto.” Matt spoke up, his voice casual but firm.

“Yeah, we don't need some dumb device to tell us that we're all soulmates.” Sean agreed, “We _know_ it.”

“No, yeah, you guys are right.” Lawrence said, “You're completely right. It would be wrong without Adam. And James, of course.”

“Wow, let me twist your arm a little more, Lawrence.” James replied sarcastically, but the grin on his face gave away his actual feelings.

“I don't want a day to go by without your thighs in my life, James Willems!” Lawrence declared, placing on hand on said thigh and the other over his heart.

James smirked, “That's better.” 

* * *

“Why did I give you guys the key to my apartment again?” Adam asked as soon as he heard the door open.

“You didn't come to dinner.”

Adam’s head turned quickly to look towards his door. He'll admit, he didn't expect Bruce to be the one coming to talk to him.

“I didn't.”

“C’mon, Adam, what's it gonna take to convince you that you're our soulmate?”

“Stop trying because you can't.”

“Adam --”

“Just, _stop_ , Bruce!” Adam’s emotionless mask finally broke, but he quickly contained himself. “You guys can live your lives out happily together and I'll just be alone like I'm supposed to be.”

“And what? You'll just be our seventh wheel forever?”

“Yes.”

Bruce pulled up his sleeve to display his TiMER, “I got this because I truly believed Joel and his crazy theory. I went against my word and everything I've ever said about TiMERs because I _knew_ that he was right about all of us. I didn't need the TiMER to tell me that. The only reason I got it was to make Joel happy. And the rest of them too. We're all happy together, but it's wrong without you. And now here I am giving some big soppy speech like this is a fucking soap opera.”

“Our lives have been feeling a lot like one lately.” Adam replied, completely ignoring everything else Bruce said.

“It doesn’t matter to us that you don’t have a TiMER.”

“It matters to _me_ , Bruce.”

“Why won’t you just let yourself be happy?”

“Because I don’t deserve it.” Adam thought, but didn’t say. He’d never say that to Bruce. He doesn’t need the other man to worry about him. No one needed to worry about him. He could handle himself. He could be alone forever.

Adam’s silence only made Bruce more frustrated. “I don’t know what to say to you.”

“Don’t say anything, then.” Adam mumbled. “Just go.”

* * *

“So you just _left_?!” Joel shrieked.

“What else was I supposed to do?!” Bruce yelled back, his voice cracking. “He told me to leave!”

“You’re an _idiot_!” Joel implored, rushing to grab his keys and go to Adam’s apartment. “I can’t fucking believe you just left him all alone!”

“Joel, wait.” James interjected, physically stopping the smaller man. “Let me do it. I think I have something up my sleeve.”

* * *

The next day, Adam wasn’t even shocked to hear his door opening again. “So who is it this time?”

“Look what I just did to myself, Adam.” James shoved his wrist into the other man’s face, showing off the newly implanted TiMER. The skin around it was still red and a little swollen.

“Oh.” Adam whispered, looking at the display.

**00 D : 00 H : 35 M : 54 S**

“It’s counting down until the next time I see one of the guys.”

“You’re sure of that?”

“More sure than I’ve ever been about anything.” James declared.

“Well, that’s good for you.”

“Adam,” James groaned, “you’re an actual idiot if you don’t think we’re soulmates.”

Adam frowned as James sat down practically on top of him. “What?”

“Do you really think that you, Adam Kovic, the one who brought together this group of people, isn’t just as, if not _more_ involved in a potential big gay orgy with all of said people?”

“Uh… what?”

“All I came here to say is that you’re fucking stupid if you spend the rest of your life sulking alone when you could be having sex with six cute guys. Six!” Adam opened his mouth to protest, but James didn’t let him. “I’m not putting up with your self-pity crap anymore. No one gives a shit that you can’t ever have a TiMER. We _already_ love you. Don’t be an asshole, don’t leave us hanging. Don’t make me look like a douche for going back on everything I’ve ever said about TiMERs by getting one.”

James stood up once more and walked towards the door. “Party at Joel’s in twenty minutes. You better be there.”

* * *

Adam found himself showered, shaved, changed, and anxiously waiting outside Joel’s door an hour later. He pushed up the sleeve of his hoodie to give one last glare at the scars on his wrist.

James was right, though, he needed to stop his self-pity crap. So many people had shot him down and he was only accustomed to shooting himself down. But he had a great opportunity here and the only thing stopping him from taking it was himself.

Adam grit his teeth and curled up his hand into a fist. Then brought his fist to the door, knocking solidly.

The door pulled open and there stood Joel with a hopeful grin. Behind him were the rest of the guys, all sporting the same expression.

“Adam.” Joel breathed out.

“Hey.” Adam replied, smiling.

Joel jumped up into Adam’s arms, wrapping his legs around his waist. Adam stumbled back ungracefully as he tried to hold onto this curly haired man.

“Alright,” Bruce chuckled as he ran behind Adam to help him stay balanced. “We just got Adam, don’t kill him just yet.”

“You’re such an asshole for making us wait so long.” Joel mumbled into Adam’s shoulder.

“Are we group hugging?” Sean asked, already latching himself onto the back of Joel. Bruce wheezed out a laugh and wrapped his arms around Adam from behind.

“This is cheesy as hell.” James said as he and Lawrence joined the hug.

“You can expect a lot more of this, Willems.” Joel shouted from the middle of the group. “You’re stuck with us for life! You even have the TiMER to prove it now.”

Matt fondly watched his pile of soulmates, placing his hand on Lawrence's back. 

"I don't fucking think so." James said, grabbing the shorter man and forcing him into the hug. 

“Guys, this is great and all, but I can’t feel my legs.” Adam grunted.

They all quickly broke apart, laughing brightly. It felt _right_.

Complete.

* * *

“So now that you all have TiMERs, have your opinions on them changed?”

“No!” James immediately shouted. “They’re still a bunch of shit!”

“You _have_ one!” Joel countered.

“Yeah, but I already knew who my soulmate was before I got it. I didn’t need it to _tell_ me.”

“I think I’ve changed my view on how TiMERs make things easier.” Lawrence said. “They can make things totally complicated. It’s way better to just fall in love on your own.”

“Oh, fuck off, as if we would have figured out this whole mess on our own without any help from TiMERs!” Joel argued.

“Yeah, I don’t know,” Sean added, “I still think it helps to have a bit of a guide for who you’re supposed to fall in love with.”

“I can figure out on my _own_ who I’m supposed to fall in love with!”

“Alright, James,” Adam said sarcastically, placing his hand on the shoulder of the man next to him, “We get it. “You don’t need no machine!” and all that.”

“Basically,” Bruce said, eager to wrap up the discussion they’d all had too many fucking times. He hated how much he loved these dickheads. “the answer to your question is, not really. Matt Peake, next question!”

**Author's Note:**

> Katie is back with an all new fandom for 2016. Honestly, shout out to Funhaus for getting me in the mood to write again. Maybe I'll finish my phan WIP now, lmao. Also shout out to my newly adopted son Adam Kovic, who I love dearly and would die for. I know he's pretty absent throughout the first half of this fic but it's very deliberate for the sake of the storyline.
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](http://mccolfer.tumblr.com)! Or on [twitter](http://twitter.com/mccolfer) if you want to see me talk to myself about Funhaus because none of my followers care about them!


End file.
